The World is Your Bishounen
by Pales Megami
Summary: *Chapter 5 now up* Relena stalks Heero. Jun stalks poor Yamato. What would happen if they got together and created an academy for stalkers? This fic. *Applicants still wanted*
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Hee. This is actually a Digimon/Gundam crossover. For now.  
Let me explain.  
As you've read in the (crappy) summary, the fic is about the Peacecraft/Motomiya  
Academy for Stalkers. They teach young and ever-hopeful fangirls the ancient secrets  
of successfully stalking their favorite bishounen. And *that*, dear readers, is where *you*  
come in. Due to my pathetic laziness and lack of imagination, I have failed to come up  
with a list of anime girls who would want to stalk their male anime counterparts. So, I'm   
giving *you* a chance to join the Stalker's Academy! E-mail me with your name and the yummy   
bishounen of your dreams, and I'll enroll you: Lrd_of_Nitemares@linainverse.net  
Happy stalking! *^_^*  
  
  
Prologue (teaser)  
  
  
"Everything is in order, Kaichou."  
"Excellent. All are in the Assembly Hall?"  
"Hai."  
  
An indistinct figure seated behind a large, laquered desk nodded and rose. It   
strode to the window, hands clasped behind its back. Heavy velvet curtains blocked out any   
sunlight, casting the room in an eery darkness.  
A second figure, standing at attention in front of the desk, ripped off a smart   
salute. "Awaiting further orders, Kaichou."  
"That will be all, Motomiya." It tilted its head. "Proceed to the assembly hall   
and wait for me there."  
"Hai."  
The remaining figure closed its eyes at the click of the door. Finally...  
finally, its dreams would be realized. After months of disappointment and humiliation...  
it could practically taste sweet victory.  
Its hands appeared to be a blur as they flung aside the curtains. Sunshine   
flooded the room, revealing antique tables completely covered with picture frames and   
letters. A heap of paperwork lay neatly on the figure's own personal desk, while the wall  
behind it was hidden behind a plastic world map that took up the entire wall space.  
The map was peppered with numerous red markings: X's and circles, arrows meandering  
across continents and oceans...  
The figure, now bathed in sunlight, smiled grimly and let out a dry chuckle.  
"You just wait," it rasped. "I *will* get you, Heero Yuy..."  
  
  
  
  
More A/N: Kinda short, I know, but I didn't want to drag it out. It *is* a teaser, after   
all. ^_^ Huh, more anonymous subjects. Don't worry, all will be revealed next chapter,  
during freshman orientation ^_~ Stay tuned!  



	2. Freshman Orientation

A/N: Second chapter! ::pats herself on the back:: I did something productive.  
Yay. ^^ A *HUGE* arigatou to everyone who applied to the academy! ::showeres them all  
with Pocky:: You guys rawk. I'll try and get more chapters done as soon as I can, but   
just to warn you: it may take a while, what with school and all, but don't you fret. I   
shall get them finished. *^_^*   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon, or Gundam Wing. I have never owned them, and as much as   
I love my pert D and G boys, I will never own them. Because if I did, Yamato would never  
have become a friggen astronaut.  
  
  
Chapter 1--Freshman Orientation  
  
  
  
"Welcome, new recruits. Welcome to the new Motomiya/Peacecraft Academy for Stalkers!"  
  
A storm of excited clapping erupted in the plush assembly hall. Relena beamed proudly  
at the hundreds of eager faces before her, all flushed with anticipation and excitement.  
  
"I would lie to begin," she said as the noise slowly died down, "by congratulating all of   
you on your successful entrance exams. Our academy is going to be the best, and will take   
*only* the best.  
You will spend a total of four years here at teh Academy. During this time, our top-notch  
staff will work hard to hone your stalking skills to absolute perfection. I forewarn you,  
the training is vigorous and strict; if you cannot adapt or keep up with the workload, you   
will immediately be thrown out."  
  
Relena paused dramatically, letting the warning sink in before she continued. "The Academy  
is divided into four levels. The first is Newbie; all new recruits begin at this level.  
Then, there is Convert, which leads to Otaku. If you are *exceptionally* skilled, you may   
enter the most honorary rank the Academy has to offer: Fangirl.  
  
"Here at the Academy," she raised her voice to be heard above the sudden ripple of talk,   
"Here at the Academy, you will follow an organized schedule and attend small classes closely  
monitored by your teachers. Each teacher will score your daily performance, which will go  
into the database to calculate your grade. Your *rank*, however, will be determined by the  
various Missions yuou must perform throughout the year. Failure to complete a Mission will  
demote your rank. Successful completeion will help raise it.  
  
I hope every one of you will have an enjoyable time here. Work hard and keep trying; le  
t nobody vanquish the fire buring within you. Also keep in mind teh Academy rules; any rule  
breaking, and I mean *any*, will result in immediate expulsion. I am sure, however, that   
there will be none of that going on during the year, as you are all bright and promising  
girls.   
  
You will now be shown to your dormitories, where your dormitory Head will hand out your   
schedules, and give you further instructions. I am sure we will have a wonderful time   
together, and I wish you all good luck."  
  
The hall exploded with cheers and applause the moment Relena finished her speech. The  
brunette caught sight of Jun looking out from the right wings of the stage; they exchanged   
winks and triumphant smiles. Relena's heart punded in anticipation as she watched her new  
proteges file out the Hall doors, chatting animatedly amongst themselves. She would not  
be beaten; all her hard work will not be in vain. Supressing a whoop of delight, she joined  
Jun offstage.  
  
"Our desires will finally be granted, Kaichou," Jun chirped as they made their way down the  
steps of the stage.  
"Hai, Jun-san. I can hardly wait..." She glanced towards teh last few exiting students,   
then grinned. "Heh. Stalk, my pretties, stalk...after all, the world is your bishounen..."  
  
  
  
  



	3. Ready, go!

A/N: Yay! The Big Chapter, where all you wonderful applicants (well, two of you so far o_o;) get to make your big debuts. You'll all be interacting with each other, and just to let you know beforehand, you *won't* always be successfully completing your missions. Some of you will mess up and have drawbacks, sorry guys ;_; Don't flame me! Please? ::puppy face::   
  
11/1/01: BWAHAHAHAHA! ::does happy dance:: I'm back! It's here! Thought you'd seen the last   
of me, eh? Thought I'd fallen into a big man hole, eh? Weeeell, I didn't. Sorry ^_^ Enjoy the   
new chapter, guys, thanks for sticking with me!   
  
Disclaimer: Digimon is not mine, Gundam wing is not mine, yadda yadda yadda, I have no money.   
  
~ denotes a thought   
* denotes emphasis on a word   
denotes a sound   
  
  
Chapter 2--Ready, Go!   
Part 1   
  
  
  
  
"...based on class participation, which counts for fifteen..."   
  
  
  
"...percent of--"   
  
  
  
It was her. Again. Supressing a smile, Rinoa Heartily sighed and tilted her head to one side.   
  
"Ms. Pyress."   
  
Avitar jumped at the sound of her name, emmitting another loud sqeak from her cushioned metal chair. "H-hai, Rinoa-sensei?" she stammered, face turning as red as her jacket.   
  
"You seem to be squeaking an awful lot today. Is there something wrong with your butt?"   
  
"Wha- oh! Oh," Avitar giggled nervously along with the rest of the class. "No, there's--nothing wrong with my... my butt..." She trailed off. Her entire face was now blazing a vivid shade of crimson that perfectly matched her shock of hair. ~Damn!~ Avitar slumped in her seat. ~Why can't I just keep *still*? Why do I have to get so *excited*? Damn damn damn!~   
  
"Good to hear, Ms. Pyress," laughed Rinoa. "Now, please stay firmly in your seat until I finish, hmm?"   
  
"Hai."   
  
"Super. As I was saying, your class participation accounts for fifteen percent of your overall grade. Therefore, I would like to ask you all to leave any shyness at the door when you come in. Everyone needs to contribute here, and if..."   
  
Slumping further in her seat, Avitar crossed her arms impatiently and looked around the room. Why don't they just get to the fun stuff, like the actual lessons? The redhead never had to worry much about class participation and such; her right arm had developed quite a formidable muscle thanks to years of waving it in the air. Avitar glanced down at it proudly. She was halfway through admiring her own handiwork when something--*something*--made her snap her head back up.   
  
About two seats ahead in the next row, a classmate sporting a single long braid was watching Avitar with her head propped against one hand. When she saw the red-head look up, she nodded slightly and winked. Avitar blinked in surprise the same moment the lunch bell rang. She hurriedly crammed her things into her sidebag, not wanting to lose a chance to speak to Long Braid Girl. When she straightened up, slinging her bag across her chest, Long Braid Girl was already walking towards her.   
  
"Hi," the other girl smiled. She gave a small flick of the head, sending her thick braid gliding off her shoulder.   
  
Avitar grinned back and stuck a hand out. "Heya! I'm Avitar, but you can call me Avi," she added as the other girl shook her outstretched hand.   
  
"I'm Lynsey... but you can call me Linz." They laughed, stepping out of the building in the bright sunlight and heading towards the cafeteria. Despite its ball-room like size, the two girls still had to push their way through chatting groups of students comparing their first-day experiences. Avi had finally managed to snag a table when--   
  
"Ms. Pyress!"   
  
Avi looked up and scanned the crowd. "Eh...?"   
  
"Over there." Lynz plunked down across from her, pointing. "It's our Dorm Head, Pales, I think her name is."   
  
Avi craned her neck for a better view. Sure enough, a black head was bobbing up and down, making its way through the tangle of bodies. An arm appeared, then a leg, another arm, until finally a petite young woman, no older than twenty, broke free and stumbled into view. She smiled at Avi and Lynz, waving two manila folders.   
  
"Don't forget, girls, Registration for your official bishounen is tomorrow morning," she beamed. "Nine o'clock sharp, be there early if you don't want to wait in line for too long." Avi and Lynz both nodded.   
  
"So." Pales slid into the seat next to Lynz. "How do you like the Academy so far?"   
  
"Oooh, it's great," Avi squealed. "I can't believe Rinoa-sensei is actually teaching here, I hear she's one of the best Stalkers in the league."   
  
"Rinoa..." Pales narrowed her eyes in thought. "What's she teach? Offensive Stalking?"   
  
Lynz nodded, cramming a forkful of salad into her mouth. "Yeah. It's the best class by far, I hear. She says we're going to do Hugging first, which is *so* much better than Transportation." She grimaced.   
  
"With Motomiya-sensei?" laughed Pales. "Heh, I hear her classes are wicked hard. Good luck in her Tracking class; it's dull work, but very difficult to master. Motomiya's absolutely brilliant at it, though." The Dorm Head shrugged and stood up, pushing the envelopes towards the two girls. "I gotta go tell the other students about Registration. Don't forget, 9 o'clock, Grand Hall." She winked. "Good luck in those classes. Happy stalking!"   
  
"Bye," called Avi while Lynz waved cheerfully. Pales grinned before disappearing into the crowd.   
  
The redhead peered at her envelope. "Know who you're going after yet?" she asked without looking up.   
  
"Jyou," Lynz replied promptly. She grinned, picking up her own envelope. "I heard there're two girls who're both after Ichijouji Ken, though."   
  
"No kidding?" Avi gave a short laugh. "Can't wait to see how *that* gets resolved. Seems like a lot of girls are after the Digidestined..."   
  
"Well, aren't you?"   
  
"Nope." Avi fingered her shock of flame-red hair.   
  
"Then who?"   
  
"Link."   
  
Lynz squealed. "You mean Link with the sword and elf ears and stuff?"   
  
"Uh..." The other girl sweatdropped. "Yep. That's him. Sword, elf ears, stuff."   
  
"Sugoi..."   
  
"Heh, I know, I can't wait to get started. Ne, what class do we have next? I think lunch is almost over."   
  
Lynz flipped her braid as she dug through her school bag. "Umm... hold on... oh. Tactics, with Relena-sensei."   
  
"Oh, *shit*." Avi grabbed both her backpack and Lynz's arms as she shot up from the table. "She's gonna *kill* us if we're late, especially for our first class. Come on, come on!"   
  
She half led, half dragged the brunette through the sea of bodies; other students flashed looks of annoyance at them as they were shoved roughly aside. When the two finally managed to fight their way out onto the open campus, they broke into a sprint across the quad, up the stone steps, through the heavy double doors of Yuy Hall. Side by side they hurtled down the hall, and almost missed the classroom in their efforts to get to class on time.   
  
"H-here... we... we are," Avi gasped. Lynz, gulping for breath, could do nothing but nod feebly and lay her head against the wall.   
  
A curious head appeared through the doorway. "Girls? Class is about to start soon," it told the m. "Please come inside."   
  
Lynz gave a small squeak, her face turning a brilliant shade of purple. "Re-Relena-sensei!" she managed. "Hai... h-ha-hai," she finished lamely as she shouldered her school bag. Avi followed suit, still slightly out of breath, closing the door behind her as she and Lynz stepped through.   
  
  
  
A/N: Yeah, yeah, the ending sucks. But. ::pause, then erupts in cheers:: It's finished! It's finished! I finally did it! ::beams proudly as she prances around the house:: It took me two friggen months to write, and it sucks, but the point *is*, I finished it. And the sad thing is, it's not even that *long* ::grumble:: Don't worry to the other applicants; you're all appearing in part two. You guys are in the other dorm, but you'll be having classes with Lynz and Avi (they applied first, so... there you go o_o) Ano... ::looks through her writing:: Rinoa is *very* OOC... _ Oh well. Never liked her much anyways D Coming up: the Other Dorm! Featuring Britt and Neko-chan! Whee~ And the rest of you Wonderful People will be in dorms Three and Four, so don't you fret, faithful readers. Oh--and a HUGE arigatou to all of you who stuck with me ^^; I was expecting everyone to bail on me since I hadn't updated in such a long time (the biggest arigatou goes to Neko-chan *^__^* ::glomps back::) So, stay tuned, folks. And I promise, I *will* get the chapters done ^.-   
  
Happy Stalking!


	4. R Day

A/N: Here it is, dearests: Chapter Four! ::random cheering and things thrown from the audience:: Up in time for Christmas, just like I promised *^_^* I'm such a good girl. ::cough:: I was gonna make it into some kind of Christmas-y theme chapter, but... I didn't. I *can* promise you one thing, though. There's going to be a Valentine's Day special XD So be sure to stay tuned; it's going to be *fuuun* :D   
Thanks, hugs, and kisses to all you wonderful applicants. You girlies kick some *major* arse. *^___^*   
  
COMING UP: Britt and Ming Ming! :D Along with some filler people who DIDN'T EMAIL ME TO APPLY... ::delicate cough:: Also, more classes, more inter-dorm-house interactions, and training for your first missions! ::screams and runs away::  
  
Diclaimers: Usual disclaimers apply. Anime characters mentioned in the fic do not belong to me. ::sulks in the corner::  
  
Chapter Four  
R Day  
  
  
  
  
Bed... warm... nice... Arashi sighed contently and pulled the blankets more tightly around her. She'd drifted awake from a dream. A *nice* dream. About Trowa. And vats of jello... she sighed again, thoughts of the taciturn Gundam pilot prancing through her head--  
  
"Ne, Arashi-chan, wake up."   
  
Someone was poking her on the forehead. Blinking away stray locks of red-orange hair, Arashi groggily pried her eyes open. Kiko, fully dressed in cargo pants and a hooded T-shirt, was kneeling in front of the bed, arms crossed.   
  
"C'mon, Lazy, outta bed."  
  
"No."  
  
"Arashi-chan..."  
  
"Dun wanna." Arashi rolled over.   
  
"Araaashiiii-chaaaaan," her friend whined, now beating Neko with some girl's pillow. "Today's registration day! Do you know how many people there's gonna *be*?"  
  
"No."  
  
Kiko gave her a flat look, then stood up. She was halfway out the door when... . Her lips curved into a wicked smile. Kiko turned back to face her snoozing dorm mate.   
  
"Fine," she tilled in a sing-song voice. "Don't come. It doesn't really matter."  
  
Grunt.   
  
"I mean, after what Trowa said, *I* wouldn't want to get out of bed, either," continued Kiko. She snuck a glance at Arashi; one hazel eye peered out from the mass of comforters.   
  
"And *what* exactly has he been saying?" Arashi's voice was muffled by the blankets, but Kiko could still detect the suspicion in her tone.   
  
"Well, I'm not really even sure, but I heard he's not really interested in red-heads--especially ones with hazel eyes. Or," she added brightly, "girls who wear sky blue tank tops. He *hates* sky blue." Kiko looked down at her own forest green shirt and flashed Arashi a grin. "Well, I better go. You know, I'm gonna be late and all, I think I'll go for Trowa now that he's *free*..."   
  
  
*~*~  
  
Across campus at the other dorm, Lynz abruptly broke off her conversation with Avi at the shrill scream of rage.   
"What the bloody hell was *that*?"  
  
*~*~  
  
"That was *mean*, Kiko-chan," Arashi pouted. They were waiting in line to register, sandwiched on all sides by chattering students.   
  
Kiko laughed and patted her friend's back. "Hey, as long as we're here, ne?" And don't worry," she continued hurriedly, "I would never take Trowa. Honest."   
  
After a few moment's pause, Arashi finally grinned back. "Okay, okay, I know. It's cool." She looked around at the other fangirl hopefuls. "Huh, I never knew the Academy had so many students," she mused. "Are there even enough bishies to go around?"  
  
"Probably not," Kiko shrugged. "A lot of these girls are in for nasty surprises, since they all wanna go for the same guys. Like *that* girl right there..."  
  
Tears splattered all down her front, a curly haired student streaked past the pair and out onto the campus, where she began bawling at the top of her lungs. The words "Yamato" and "not fair," as well as a string of colorful curses popped up periodically between sobs. Kiko shook her head, pulling a sympathetic face. She could definitely relate to that girl. *Her* first choice bish had already been taken, so, not wanting to stir any conflict, she changed her future stalkee at the last minute. Not that she didn't *like* Claude--Kiko absolutely adored the boy--but... She heaved a sigh. It's just not the same as Ken.  
  
A hiss in her ear snapped her out of her mental sulk. Arashi was looking pointedly at her, eyebrows raised.   
  
"Kiko, it's you," she said. The crowd thinned a little, just enough for Kiko to make out a long table with computers sitting on top side by side. She grimaced and pushed her way towards the table.   
  
*~*~  
  
"Name?"  
  
"Pyress, Avitar."  
  
"ID Number?"  
  
"1487B."  
  
"...'kay. Name of bishounen?"  
  
"Link."  
  
".... All set. Here's your mission outline, be sure to read the guidelines before class."  
  
"Thanks, Pales."  
  
~ ~  
  
"Name?"   
  
"Tomodachi, Kiko."  
  
"ID number?"  
  
"2219A."  
  
"... Mm-hm. Bishounen?"  
  
"Claude."  
  
"... Great. Here's your outline, have a nice day."  
  
"Yeah, sure."  
  
~ ~  
  
"Lynz."  
  
"Arashi."  
  
"1882A."  
  
"Britt."  
  
"2386A."  
  
"Jyou."  
  
"1943B."  
  
"Ming Ming."  
  
"Trowa Barton."  
  
"2904A."  
  
"Ken Ichijouji."  
  
"Omi Tsukiyono."  
  
  
"... Thank you."  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Yaaay~ Now you guys are all registered, and ready to stalk! Next chapter will be all of you in classes, and the chapter after *that* will be... ::drumroll:: The First Mission! :D Wai~ Oh, and just to get into the holiday spirit: Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, and Happy Winter Solstice (~_~;) to everyone. Consider this a present from me to all of you. Yeah, so it's a craptastic prezzy. Just pretend it's really cool, hmm? ^_-  
  
Happy Stalking. 


	5. Officially Official

The World Is Your Bishounen-- Chapter 5 (finally :P)  
  
by Pales Megami  
  
Disclaimers: None of the characters in this fic belong to me. They belong to their respectful owners. And, certainly, none of the stalkettes in this fic belong to me. Wait, yes they do-- by applying to the Academy, they have sold me their *sooouuuul*, mwahahaha. ....Uh, nothing happened there o_O; In any case, don't sue me. I have no money.  
  
  
A/N: Whoa. FF.net went wonky on me and completely cut out the entire first part of the fic. Thanks to Duet-chan for pointing out how short the fic was ^^; I think I'll give her a cameo apperance. Sorry for the mix-up, guys. And Neko-chan, I hope you're reading this new updated chapter, because the mangled one was crap XP Happy stalking, girlies.   
  
  
Chapter Five: Officially Official  
  
  
"Oooh, lemme see, lemme see!"  
  
"Can I see what you got? Please?"  
  
"No way! That is *so* cool!"  
  
"Yours is *so* much better than mine, lucky!"  
  
The future stalkettes of Daisy Hall crowded together in the center hall of their dorms, quealing and giggling like little girls at a slumber party with Avi squealing the loudest of all. Arms reached back and forth; bodies bumped into bodies as the girls scuttled around the hallway. They had just gotten back from registration, their precious mision statements clutched in their hands like the crown jewels. Upon arriving back at the dormitories, the crown jewels were passed around, ripped, crumpled, snatched back and forth by every student in Daisy.  
  
"Lynz! Lynz, can I see yours?" Britt bounced lightly on the balls of her feet. "What did you get?"  
  
Lynsey detangled herself from a clump of fangirls. "Yeah, hold on," the blonde huffed. "Just let me get it back from Melissa..." She then gave a yelp as a pair of arms wrapped themselves tightly around her neck.  
  
"We did it! Oh my god! We did it!" Avi's voice shrieked in her ear. "Lookie, my mission statement is really awesome! Where's yours, can I see?"  
  
"Yeah, wait a-- ow! Oh, thanks, Mel." Lynz thrust her now battered mission statement into Avi's hands. Britt looked over the redhead's shoulder while Lynz skimmed through Avi's tattered Statement.  
  
"Hmmm... 'Jyou,' 'Kawasaki High School', 'student in need of tutor'..." muttered Avi as she read. "This is uber cool, Lynz. You got an easy assignment."  
  
Lynz smiled. "You think so? I guess it *is* a lot simpler than some of the other ones I've seen." She jerked her dead at a tall brunette standing near the doorway. "See her?"  
  
"Mm-hmm. What about her?"  
  
"*She* has to get herself into a sorceror's guild in an alternate universe. Tricky, no?"  
  
"Ouch." Britt squinted at the girl. "Who is she? She looks familiar."  
  
"Kiko Tomodachi. She's in the other dorm."  
  
"I think she's in our Tracking class. Who's her target?" Avi piped in.  
  
"Zelgadiss," Lynz replied, folding up her mission statement. "She had to change her person twice because the others were already taken."   
  
The trio fell silent for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. After a while, Britt wandered off to chat with another knot of girls. She explained excitedly to them what she was going to wear on her mission, in which she would pose as a backstage crewmember of Yamato Ishida's band. Lynz struck up a conversation about trapieze ladies with Kiko and her friend Arashi, which left Avi standing alone in the middle of the chaos. She didn't mind at all. In fact, she was grateful that Britt and Lynz had gone; despite her cheerful attitude towards her mission, Avi was feeling rather nervous about it. It wasn't quite as appealing to her as she had made it out to be. A *chamber maid*? Avi scowled. She could have at least been assigned as a scullery maid or something. Ah well. Perhaps being a chamber maid at Hyrule castle would give her a chance to pinch Link's tights or something.   
  
Avi was suddenly aware of the gradual hush in the hall. She looked around and spotted Pales, the dorm head, inching her way into the hallway. She beamed proudly at the assembled students in a motherly fashion.  
  
"Congratulations, all of you!" Cheers and applause echoed around the building. "Congrats on the real beginning of your enrollment at the Academy. You have all received your Mission statements; well done, girls. Here is the procedure.  
  
You will all follow your regular schedules up until the first week of February. That is when Missions will commence. They will last until the end of the month. Until Febuary, howeever, you will all attend special training essions scheduled by you and your assigned instructor. She will give you specific instructions when the time comes.  
  
That is all for now. Please go to your E-block class. The best of luck to you all, and happy stalking."  
  
With a wink and a grin, Pales waved them off to class. The crowd slowly trickled through the heavy double doors, mission statements still flying back and forth. Lynz, Avi, and Britt rejoined with each other and let themselves be caught in the sea of bodies fighting for the doors.  
  
*~*~  
  
How on earth can she grip so *hard*? Kiko made an indistinct gurgle as the pressure around her neck and upper body tightened.   
  
"It's all in the grip and the position," Rinoa-sensei was instructing. "The position is extremely important. See how the body is aligned directly in front of me? That makes it easier for me to grip the target."  
  
Pens and pencils scritched as they flew across notebook paper. Every student in the E-block Offensive Stalking class, save Kiko, was diligently taking notes while observing Rinoa-sensei's infamous Death Hug.  
  
"One arm around the neck, other arm across the back at an angle," Rinoa continued. "Feet planted firmly at shoulder's length apart, like so." Scritch scritch. "Remember, you should keep your body and legs as close to the target as possible. The head, if you're tall enough, should rest firmly on the target's shoulder and against the neck. Thank you, Miss Tomodachi." Kiko gave a shuddering gasp as she was finally released from her sensei's Death Hug. Weak-kneed and coughing, she struggled back to her seat, collapsing in her chair.  
  
"Kiko, are you OK?" Arashi knitted her brows in concern as she gently patted her friend's back. A hacking cough was all she got in response. Any further conversation was cut short by Rinoa resuning her lecture.  
  
"Now then. I'm going to split you up into pairs to practice your Hugging. Not *this* class period, of course." She smiled and glanced in Kiko's direction. "Next class. I will, however, drill you on your knowledge, to see how well you took notes. Ming-Ming," she called suddenly.   
  
"Hai?"  
  
Tell me: When does one use the Hug?"  
  
The student looked down at her desk in thought. "Um... well, you said that only shoddy fangirls used it randomly and impetuously..." The class twittered. "I think-- when you know the target in moving in your direction and knows you're there?"  
  
"Excellent, Ming-Ming," Rinoa beamed. "Never attack the target from behind. Only bad stalkers use the Hug from the back. Use the Hug only when the target is coming to you, and always make your presence known before attacking. It's only proper Stalking etiquette. And, let's have... Lynz!"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"You are in a room, and the target is moving to the room to meet you. What would be the ideal preparatory positions?"  
  
"Ooh, hold on. Uh... OK. You'd lie down somewhere and pretend to be asleep...? And-- um, when you hear the target enter, you get up and attack, wouldn't you?"  
  
"Yes, Lynz, very good. Get up quickly and attack quickly; you must make the first move. Which brings us to Arashi."  
  
"Hai."  
  
"Please explain why we use the Hug."  
  
"Hai. Well, the goal of the stalker when using the Hug is to snare the target and ensure a dominant role in the conversation. The Hug allows the stalker to make all the first moves and manipulate the target to agree to all of the stalker's terms. Um. Yeah."   
  
Rinoa-sensei smiled warmly. "Precisely, Arashi. The Hug both traps the target and prevents him from getting away, as well as rendering him speechless for enough time for you to begin the conversation. It's important that you talk immediately upon Hugging. You must be agressive when speaking, and do not let go until the target has agreed to to your terms. And that, laides," Rinoa concluded over the sound of the bell, "is the end of our class. Homework-- go over your notes for tomorrow and practice your grip. See you all next class."  
  
  
  
  
More a/n: Kind of a filler chapter; sorry, guys. After all the waiting, and I give you crap. _ 


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